Bar Food 3 – Epic Failure

I appreciate irony. it makes me smirk when i recognize the world balancing out in a humorous way. it appeals to the cruel side of me. tonight, it’s a dish best ate cold to be sure…

so, now that the pool league season is over, Yumi, the owner of the VIP where Eddie and I play pool is throwing us a party, pizza, beer, celebrate a good season and have a good time. well, if nothing else, i was raised with manners. i couldn’t dream of coming to a party, even one in my team’s honor without bringing something… ok, food and drink are covered, no need to venture into that territory so… i decided to take a dessert. not just any dessert but a kick ass, in your face, giant new york style cheesecake. everyone loves cheesecake, its so decadent you feel like you need a shot of penicillin after eating it. so yeah, cheesecake it is. i went shopping today instead of my normal thursday shopping trip in order to make it and give it a nice overnight chill. all is well, great recipe from epicurious: New York Cheesecake, a nice relaxing evening of videogames, catching up with season 3 of Eureka and baking a dessert. hell, i even bought a brand new spring form pan specifically for the job tonight. i needed one anyway, or so i told myself.

oh, did i mention irony? yeah, i think i did. well, here it is… i make the graham cracker crust, line the pan and blend together the ingredients for the cheesecake. it looks good, smells good and tastes good (of course i try everything along the way, how else would i know how it’s going to turn out?)… the directions call for a pan underneath the springform pan in case of leaks… in case of leaks, hah! well, the only pan i have that is big enough for the job is my pizza pan. unless we have a leak like a failed dam, it should be plenty big enough to catch some drippings. so, cheesecake on the pizza pan, pizza pan in the oven. my pizza pan is a bit big for the oven but it squeezes in nicely on the rails that hold the racks in the oven. so, oven at 550 as required, cheesecake in the oven. 12 minutes, during the wait, i start reading the reviews of the recipe. numerous people are talking about how the top of their cheesecake was scorched by the high heat in stage one… well, i can’t have that, scorched cheesecake is not appropriate. nope.

so, i open the oven and…

the pan that i put under the cheesecake to prevent drips tilts forward, dropping the entire cheesecake into my oven, down the front of the door and under the heating element. it was there to prevent spillage and it ended up causing the whole damned thing to end up inside my oven! get it, isn’t it funny? oh, i’m laughing… i’m laughing hard.

wow, we get irony and sarcasm in the same post… you are lucky readers!

No cheesecake and i got to clean up this damned mess. yeah!

to paraphrase Kaelthas (sorry, wow geek moment) “New York Cheesecake was merely a setback”… i went ahead and made a pumpkin pie which is more of a pumpkin tart i guess in that it is free standing with a partial shell on the bottom. based on the recipe at epicurious The Ultimate Pumpkin Pie but i still wanted a graham cracker crust so guess what? i made mine with a graham cracker crust. its still cooling so i probably should have waited to transfer it but i’m impatient. i narrowly escaped cracking it, bad enough there is a blemish on top from my testing knife insertion that grew a bit. anyway, here is a photo, review to follow tomorrow after i actually get to try it.

oh, and did i mention, taking pumpkin pie to the bar means i will have to supply the girls with a can of whipped cream. if thats not the lead in to a bad porno, i’m not sure what is…

Pumpkin Pie cooling


5 Responses to Bar Food 3 – Epic Failure

  1. Greg The Elder says:

    Dude, things like that teach us humility, doesn’t matter how good you are personally the universe has a way of evening out the playing field Ask your mom about the Hermetically sealed meatloaf sometime, glad you recovered with the pie. yea a bar full of “B” girls with Whipped Cream is an enticing image. But like you always preferred the real people instead of the caging sirens.

  2. xtna says:

    Guess that means I’m “real people”…perhaps a pumpkin cheesecake is the thing? Look forward to a homemade pumpkin cheesecake complete with homemade graham crackers to make the crust. Hope you can handle the “homemade” to the “caging sirens”.

  3. 4dancers says:

    That cake looks AMAZING and I want it NOW.

  4. 4dancers says:

    (and I must admit I did find the disaster funny 🙂 )

  5. Pumpkin ANYTHING rules.

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